And in that deafening pleasure, I heard someone say:

If we walk away, they'll walk away.

Davis slept over last night and the night before. Thursday night was kind of a mistake haha we both fell asleep and he snuck out the next morning before anyone knew.
But last night he was invited to stay over so he did and we watched planet earth and I fell asleep and had many dreams...

I had a dream that Davis was in a car accident and died and somehow I found out about it and it was tragic And I had to tell Matt and he already knew. But it felt so real...and I was dwelling on all the things I didn't say and that was sad. Very sad to me. But I don't know what it means. Maybe that I should say the things I regretted NOT saying in my dream...but that can't be right because I'm not ready for the things I wanted to say in the dream... I keep thinking in the moment that I am, but afterward, I realize that it wouldn't be the right time. I wonder when the time will be. But it's not now. I don't think this makes any sense to anyone but me.

I hate waking up with someone and then they leave.
I think I'm going to watch a clockwork orange now.
No, no I won't. I cannot watch a clockwork orange.
I will watch...finding nemo or something stupid like that.
Over the Hedge maybe. rofl
No, I'll make Sam go with me to get some chai in a far away coffee shop.
This sucks. This is going to be my summer. Sitting at home on this laptop.
Working occasionally, seeing Davis after 10:30pm. I wish I had more friends out here. I wish Jeze lived here. I wish Hannah lived here. I want to take one of them and break into a pool or something right now. I need to go to SLCC and sign up for my classes, holy fuck.
I need to not eat all day either. If I'm going to be sitting on my ass all day, I cannot eat a whole $2.99 bag of Flamin Hot Cheetos for fucks sake. $.99 maybe, but still. NO. I should just start laying out. Jesus Christ, why don't I just make a summer to do list?!?!?!?!?

-Lay out
-Sign up for SLCC classes
-Hangout with Mindy from work/marmalade square
-Swim in Davis' pool
-Not turn into a cocooning caterpillar and eat EVERYTHING
-Give Taylors stuff back

I'm listening to a depressing song from Bright Eyes and it's fucking bringing me D O W N.


"Just as I came into this world, all by myself I will leave it"
-The waiting makes me curious, Fear Before the March of Flames
That's my favorite quote that makes my blood run BLACK like my HEART.



I look super nazzz-T in this. OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OHOHOH

WATCH THIS:
http://www.yayeveryday.com/post/10542

Seriously, I love it. I want to watch it every morning so that the choices I make in the day will make me think of this and help me in making all the right choices that I want.

Anyway, Hannah, I miss you so much. I want you here now plz.

kthxbai